HITLER
After I shot Adolf Hitler
I would look on him with pity
Like any stupid animal I’d needed to put down -
If in a froth of hate and spittle or
A dog’s peculiar dignity
Of shattered silent pining
at the red spot on his shiny
coat of brown
Or maybe whining
for the meals he’d meant to guzzle
at each lent unmuzzled
opportunity;
And after I shot Adolf Hitler
I would make sure to remind myself
he’s on my list of people not to be
After I got Congress to apply
Its statutes to our sitting
President I would protest his execution ‘cos it’s wrong
For have we not less monstrous means whereby
To stop him from committing
Further crimes against humanity
And time enough and hadn’t we all along
And what’s he ever done
but everything we let him?
So it’s all of us that treasure being "free" -
And after I shot Adolf Hitler
I might look on him with pity
but
he’s on my list of people not to be
After I shot each last one of you
At [name of venue] tonight, I’d
Take my semi-automatic and I’d turn it on myself
And don’t be shocked, I’m just funnin’ you
The guitar case of mine right
There would need some kind of makeover
to fit a retooled AK-47.
I’m just kiddin’,
but the point is I’d get mine as well
‘cos I can tell
you’re quite as swell as me:
And after we shot Adolf Hitler
we would make sure to remind ourselves
he’s on our list of people not to be.
One list is expanding
About six million young ’uns
Give or take a couple million if it rains.
The divine right of kings,
the time it makes ‘em run on
Justifies the destination of the trains and it’s an annual hunger ha
Ha holocaust of kids:
A belly’s like a conscience, it is
usually empty when it swells -
Thing about Nazis is,
Thing about them Nazis
Is they’re only ever anybody else
After I
shot Adolf Hitler
In a pleasant power fantasy
I got to fucking Heidi Klum and Marilyn Monroe
And then I washed up a little and
I got out a clean handkerchief
For more this evening after we’ve
enjoyed my mast-erpieces and I've gone
home
And Santayana reasoned
that can cause the blindness of
the kind outdoes
the crimes of his-tory
But after I’ve shot Adolf Hitler
I will make sure to remind myself
he’s on my list of people not to be
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