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HITLER

After I shot Adolf Hitler
I would look on him with pity
Like any stupid animal Id needed to put down -
If in a froth of rage and spittle or
A dogs peculiar dignity
Of shattered silent pining
at the red spot on his shiny
coat of brown
Or maybe whining
for the meals hed meant to guzzle
at each lent unmuzzled
opportunity;
And after I shot Adolf Hitler I would make sure to remind myself
hes on my list of people not to be

After I got Congress to apply
Its statutes to our sitting
President I would protest his execution cos its wrong
For have we not less monstrous means whereby
To stop him from committing
All these crimes against humanity
And time enough and hadnt we all along
And whats he ever done
But everything we'd let him?
So its all of us that treasure "being free" -
And after I shot Adolf Hitler I might look on him with pity
but hes on my list of people not to be


After I shot each last one of you
At
[name of venue] tonight, Id
Take my semi-automatic and Id turn it on myself
And dont be shocked, Im just funnin you
The guitar case of mine right
There would need some kind of makeover
to fit a retooled AK-47.
Im just kiddin,
but the point is Id get mine as well
cos I can tell
youre quite as swell as me:
And after we shot Adolf Hitler we would make sure to remind ourselves
hes on our list of people not to be.

Some lists are expanding
About six million young uns
Give or take a couple million if it rains.
The divine right of kings,
the time it makes em run on,
Justifies the destination of the trains and its an annual hunger ha-ha
Holocaust of kids:
A bellys like a conscience, it is
Usually empty when it swells -
Thing about Nazis is, the thing about them Nazis is theyre only ever anybody else

After I shot Adolf Hitler
In a pleasant power fantasy
I got to fucking Heidi Klum and Marilyn Monroe
And then I washed up a little and
I got out a clean handkerchief
For more this evening after weve
enjoyed my mast-erpieces and I've gone home
And Santayana reasoned
that could cause the blindness of
the kind outdoes
the crimes of hist-
ory
But after Ive shot Adolf Hitler I could make sure to remind myself
that hes on my list of people not to be
that hes on my list of people not to be (It's nice to have one)
that hes on my list of people not to be (I'll get to it someday)
on my list of people not
to be
 

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