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FINGERPUZZLE!
 

Everybody's dead from a new sensation
Whoa Fingerpuzzle
Not like anybody said it would sweep the nation
Whoa Fingerpuzzle

All the bodies strewn around as the sunlight dazzles
With both thumbs down inside their assholes
Fingerpuzzle
Whoa
Fingerpuzzle

Well it started with some bands, as the fads all do now
Whoa Fingerpuzzle
Catching on with the gourmands of spams and tuna
Whoa Fingerpuzzle

Tired of sitting on our hands while the world's ungluin'
So we put one in the pants, then somebody puts two in
Fingerpuzzle
Whoa
Fingerpuzzle

Soon it's bigger than TV and the Iraq war contest
Whoa Fingerpuzzle
Everybody wants to see who can "pack" for longest -
Whoa Fingerpuzzle

It's the only dignity that the common folks has,
The early casualties all dismissed as hoaxes, 
Fingerpuzzle
Whoa
Fingerpuzzle

By the time we came to see that we were all stuck hard, yeah
Whoa Fingerpuzzle
No-one had a hand free to get a can of lard, yeah
Whoa Fingerpuzzle

Watching people starve to death in their well-stocked larders
'Cos you're only more retentive if you tug harder
Fingerpuzzle
Whoa
Fingerpuzzle

Well there's a moral at the end like in Michael CrITCHton
Whoa Fingerpuzzle
If you won't pitch in a hand, is it tight where it's pitched in?
Whoa Fingerpuzzle

From the peasants to the creeps in their corporate castles
(their thumbs wedged deep inside their assholes)
Intellectual elites can't fix their tassels
(with their thumbs wedged deep inside their assholes)
From the Commander in Chief to his Third World vassals
We're all kinda relieved that there'll be no more hassles
Nothing to it now but leaving some peculiar fossils

Everybody's talking 'bout
Fingerpuzzles
 

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